Firstly, I apologize for the wait as a lot of outside factors have been taking up my time, as well as my own independent “research” if you will relating to this post. Before I lay out my opinion, let me make a few things clear: This will be an extremely long read & I’m aware that what I’m about to present to you doesn’t apply to all women. That’s first & foremost. If it doesn’t apply to you, it doesn’t apply. There is no witch hunt or me pointing fingers in an attempt to get you to confess your sins. It’s merely me stating my own observations either by reading, watching or direct interaction. Those of you that know me know that I analyze everything & take pleasure in looking at shit from more than one angle. I’m also aware that men have/display some of the same characteristics I will be mentioning. However, fact remains…this isn’t about men. We have our own subset of issues that are more widely displayed, recognized & persecuted. Some of those are caused by women’s tendencies, but that’s a whole different post I’ll likely be addressing at another time. Also, be aware that I don’t “hate” women. I’m a heterosexual male. Let that sink in for a second. This isn’t a misogynistic rant, just a presentation of information in which you’re free to take its value on your own terms. I hate having to explain my reasons for my thoughts, but I understand that some adults don’t act like adults & need to be walked through shit to have an understanding. With all of that on the table, let’s begin.
The assholism in women starts at an early age.
Take a journey back to when you were young. You may have been “daddy’s little girl”, which is fine, but at some point your views may have shifted. Your parents may have done everything in their power to protect you & instill some type of intrinsic values in you to carry you through life into adulthood, where you’d be able to make your own decisions. I use “your” in this case because it’s the basis of every woman’s life. You are loved. You are taught the ways of the world in a sheltered manner because your mind isn’t yet capable of seeing things for what they really are. Everything is given to you without much resistance because you’re delicate. That’s not necessarily a bad thing because, if I had a daughter, I would do the same. The idea is to keep the trust line with your parents so you know that no matter what happens in your life, you can always turn to them. They will carry your burden, especially your father. He is to be the man that you should compare every man that will come into your life to, setting a damn near impossible standard. This is actually exactly how it should be. If you ever doubt for one second how you should be treated by a guy you fall in love with, your immediate thought should be what your father would think or how he would act in situations of emotion. Don’t confuse that as some twisted way of saying “fuck the guy most like your father”. I’m merely pointing out that no man will love you unconditionally like your father & the one closest to, or at least trying to, should be the one to win your heart.
Now, not all fathers are created equal. You have your perfect dads that would kill for the safety of their daughter, even over a verbal dispute…then you have the ones who never gave a damn. There is a wide spectrum of difference in fathers but for the most part, you get the general idea. As young girls grow older, they learn ways to manipulate their fathers. Crying, display of innocence/ignorance & playing the “hate” card in rebellion to name a few. Typically your mother may have set the ground rules & your father played the backup of the decisions. This is where the assholism starts. For example, let’s say you wanted to go to a party & your mother voiced her concern. You probably asked your father in a slew of different ways — either outright, pretending to be upset because your mother said “no”, or rebelled…by going anyway or playing him against her by exclaiming that they don’t understand you/never let you do anything. In most cases, he would allow you to go because he doesn’t want his precious little girl harboring ill feelings towards him.
That’s just one example out of many of the hundreds of different scenarios & outcomes. The moment you have realized your indirect power over your father is when you started to shape your future of manipulating men. Let me remind you that it doesn’t apply to all, but a good 75% or better of you know exactly what I’m talking about & are probably denying it as you read. However, you won’t stop here & neither will I. We still have much to go through…
The more contact you’ve had with guys, the more you’ve learned to sway things in your favor.
Think back to high school. This is where the stage is set for how you will interact with men for the rest of your lives. You were one of two types: the attractive girl that every guy wanted to talk to, or the unattractive girl that barely went noticed. We’ll cover both aspects for the sake of point.
The unattractive girl went unnoticed. You probably had a crush on a guy but you weren’t his type. He was probably into a cheerleader or a “maturing” girl whose body was filling out better. They all were & it caused you to feel a certain type of way. You wanted their attention & it wasn’t given. You probably buried your head in books or didn’t spend much time interacting outside of school other than the friends you had that were in the same playing field. You didn’t necessarily want to be popular, but you wanted to be noticed more than “the girl that always gets an A in History”. You probably tried a few different looks/styles, knowing that one day you’d eventually evolve, & on that day you would show them what they were missing all along. Some of you may even had went the promiscuous route because, well, it’s attention. There are many different scenarios that could’ve been in play but unfortunately I don’t have time to toss them all on the table.
The attractive girl had all of the guys at her feet. You were part of the popular crowd…always invited to parties, in the upper echelon of students at the lunch table & you had more opportunities to interact with people. Chances are you had the nerds longing for your attention but they knew you were out of their league & you probably kept a steady boyfriend, or at least a round of suitors. Your manipulation started early because you knew guys wanted you & there were things you traded your attention for — homework, a ride home from school instead of taking the bus, not paying for your own lunch…to name a few. Just think of the possibilities. If they didn’t exist for you, know they existed for someone of your caliber, or “status” if you will. Whatever you wanted was available to you with little resistance.
College or 18+ years…
Now you’ve reached adulthood & your skills at manipulation have vastly improved. Some aspects from high school have carried over although some of the people may have dissipated. But who needs them, right? The world is in your palm. There’s a totally new playing field. Now the guys 21+ are available because you’re of legal age. You can obtain alcohol from them without much issue. If you were the unattractive girl, you probably found your sweet spot & have evolved. Guys are taking notice of you now & are making an attempt for your attention where they haven’t before. Although you’re a late bloomer, the concept still remains. We won’t dwell much here because instead of high school, the stage is set larger — college parties, house parties, moving out on your own (for some of you…) & generally being less antagonized by the restrictions of your parents. You’re basically legally free to do whatever the fuck you want.
Let’s take a look at that evolution, moving forward to 21 years old…
This is where the heavyweight of assholism takes place. It probably starts out as going to a bar or club with friends. You already know that guys generally want one thing. Many of them have approached you. Why shouldn’t you use what they want to get what you want?
Stop for a second & repeat that sentence to yourself. Why shouldn’t you use what they want to get what you want?
This is the exact basis of where your being the bigger asshole takes place. For the moment we’ll expand on the club/bar scene.
Men want to talk to you…you want a free drink.
Not all women drink, but for those of you that do, let me ask you a question. On an average night out, how many guys have bought you a drink…whether they offered to or you asked them to? You can lie to yourself all you want saying that “you go out to have fun with your friends” or “I can pay for my own drinks”, but how many times have you turned down a free drink? How many times have you stood at the bar beside a guy attempting conversation with you & said “No thanks, I don’t accept free drinks”? In addition, how many times have you offered to buy a guy a drink? We both know the answer to these questions, so I’ll spare the depth of exploration. Some of you even leave home with no money because you know for a fact that all you have to do is look lonely or pop a smile in a guy’s direction & you won’t have to purchase a single drink on your own. Some of you even have the balls to pull this shit on more than one guy in the same fucking bar/club. I’ll give some of you this: sometimes you’ll even stay long enough to hold a small, meaningless conversation, but it stops there. Chances are, he’ll ask for your number & you won’t give it to him, or he gets a fake. Maybe you give him your actual number, but you won’t speak to him after that night unless he really held your attention. It doesn’t matter that he’s a nice guy or that he’s just looking for someone to talk to. You don’t know him at all, but you sure don’t want to waste your potential talking to him. You got what you wanted, so now it’s time to move on…whether it be the “I have a boyfriend” bullshit or “I’m just here hanging out with my girls”.
Of course some of us don’t know any better. We bought you that drink so we’ve already sealed our fate. I’m willing to bet while we’re still trying to continue conversation, you’ve already started calculating your exit strategy. Unless he’s really good looking, muscular & bearded, you’re not sticking around. We’ll expand on that later, don’t worry. But, my question is, if you supposedly have a boyfriend or are just having a girls’ night out, why did you accept the free drink? I personally have learned long ago not to buy women drinks in bars. It basically boils down to me being aware of many elements that come along with that order. You’re not obligated to speak to anyone…true. You don’t owe men anything because they bought you a drink…also true. However, common sense tells you that the moment a guy looks at you & says “hi”, there’s a high chance he will offer you a drink, to which 99% of the time, you will accept. Do you see the issue? Accepting a free drink when you aren’t looking for any type of connection, even by small conversation, is an asshole move. I could be wrong. Maybe you’re willing to sacrifice a few moments of your time spent with a stranger learning about them, but how about this: the moment that guy offers a drink in the beginning (which is a rookie mistake, by the way), if you’re interested in what he has to say, how about replying with “before we order anything, let’s just talk for a moment first”? Or, if you don’t want to waste your precious time, decline the drink with a respectful reply like “I’m sorry, you seem like a decent guy but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea so I’m going to have to decline.” Do you see how that works? At that point, the situation is out of your hands & if the guy pursues, he’s actually harassing you.
Speaking of harassment…
…it’s a very touchy subject. Harassment is subjective. I agree that nobody has the right to touch you as you’re walking by, call you names or otherwise present some type of threat to your person. I completely get it. There is also the fact that some guys aren’t versed in speaking to women, so they may call you out by the color shirt you’re wearing or make remarks about your ass as you walk by. I won’t take the path of saying “you knew what you were wearing when you left home” because it’s a bit insensitive, however I will say that some of you have different intentions than others, in the same regard that some men have different intentions than others. No, you shouldn’t wear loose fitting jeans. No, they don’t have the right to make you feel a way about your body. That’s common sense. However…some women, in fact, do dress a certain way for attention. That doesn’t apply to all of you, no shit. I’m simply saying, be aware of how easy it is to mistake between the two. I’m not saying give these guys a pass. I’m saying that some of you unwillingly take the repercussions of others who flaunt their body with the intention of getting what they want. Those are the assholes.
The girl with the big ass titties in an open shirt that wants men to look because they have an agenda. “Well what am I supposed to wear? Am I supposed to cover them? Do you know how hard it is to find clothes…”; yeah…I get it. However, I’m repeating myself so hopefully you’ll see what I’m saying: some of you unwillingly take the repercussions of others who flaunt their body with the intention of getting what they want. Take Instagram for instance. On any given day, you can find women flaunting their goods for “likes” or “thirst”. Here’s some examples I’ll take from random Instagram accounts:
Sure, it could be argued that these chicks just “like the way it looks on them”, but they draw attention to two areas of interest…two areas that they know guys will like. I have nothing against it because well, I like looking. However, it’s fortunate for me that I see past the bullshit & I know why, which makes me refrain from “thirst” & conduct myself in a different manner. Again, I’m not telling you what to wear, in case you’re dense enough to not see what I mean. I’m telling you that your reasons for wearing something like either of these above are different than their reasons. Of course, as you could guess, their comments section is filled with all kinds of “thirst” & lewd replies. Even further, the one pictured on the bottom has a boyfriend who is in other pictures where her body isn’t visible & has received less “likes”. Interesting.
Assholism at its finest, directly fitting into what I said earlier about using what they want to get what you want.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there.
False rape accusations…
…is a very touchy subject yet again. Feel free to stop reading here/skip this section if you must, but I absolutely have to walk this line because it’s a very real thing & I will probably hit a nerve here.
I firmly believe that non-consensual sex is a disgusting thing & rapists should themselves be raped & thrown under jails with nothing but a slice of bread & water to consume for the rest of their days. I also believe that it is wrong to destroy the life of someone with a false accusation. I don’t mean changing your mind in the middle of sex. That’s rape. “No” means “no”. Your being drugged or incoherent is also rape. Both parties being inebriated is iffy as it’s unfair to say that “the man should’ve known better”. I personally believe it’s a bit absurd to think that a drunk man is more in control than a drunk woman if both parties are awake & able to communicate. You don’t have to agree. However, if they are both drunk & the woman passes out, or if she says no & although he is drunk, he continues, then yes…I would absolutely say that is rape.
However, both parties being drunk & it’s consensual (which means the act is agreed upon by both parties from start to finish), only to wake up the next morning & the woman have no recollection of what happened, isn’t rape to me. The fucked up thing is, both parties could have no recollection of having consensual sex & the man would automatically be at fault. Does that really sound fair? If both parties were intoxicated & it was consensual from start to finish but he remembers & she doesn’t, how is it his fault? I’ve been so drunk that I’ve blacked out & acted completely normal before, according to the accounts of others, but this isn’t about me. At this point it’s his word against hers & more than likely he will be charged with rape. The only real solution is to just abstain from sexual acts unless you’re both completely sober, which is easier said than done, but it’s truly the only way.
In light of all of that & the various arguments in relation, some women actually do lie, unfortunately. There are women in existence that were coherent, were consenting, but in the end to save face…whether it be persecution from others or just waking up the next morning realizing their mistake…lie about being raped. This is probably the most inexcusable asshole move of all. You know what’s at stake for the person you’re accusing. You know you’re lying. Yet, you choose to save face & preserve whatever status you hold because you chose to sleep with someone & prefer not to be embarrassed by your actions. You would much rather ruin someone’s life than to say that you fucked someone you probably wouldn’t had fucked if you were sober, or that you were simply horny & they happened to be there. You refuse to own up to it because the sympathy from & not being shamed by others means a lot more to you than falsely accusing someone & ruining their lives. Being falsely labeled as a sex offender is a major detriment. It shows up on your criminal background for life. I urge you to think about this the next time you have a few drinks and find someone of interest. If you can’t control yourself, either abstain from drinking or at the very least, have someone around you to prevent you from bringing someone home or leaving with someone. Not only does it prevent you from the possibility of actually being raped, but it prevents you from having consensual sex then changing your mind about it the next morning. All in all, it’s necessary for each party involved.
Lastly, it’s not all about you.
Going back to the very beginning, I mentioned that women use manipulation to get what they want. This also extends into relationships, where for whatever reason, a lot of women tend to get comfortable & feel as if it’s “their way or the highway”. I view relationships as an equal, mutual bond between two people. Communication is key. It doesn’t fucking matter who texts who first, or other retarded things you may think is a “sign”. Moreover, of course you should respect your partner’s opinion, but neither should sway to the other’s every wish simply because you’re together. If what you want to do doesn’t threaten the sensible solidarity of your relationship, then by all means, you don’t need permission for anything. If I want to go play Xbox at a friend’s house but my girlfriend wants me to stay & watch Friends with her, it shouldn’t spark an argument if I choose Xbox as long as I’m not being a dick about it. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with each other. On the same note, if we rarely to never do anything together, I can see where the concern would lie. You should have your hobbies just as I do. Don’t be an asshole & start an argument because we don’t want to do everything you want. It’s uncalled for. Instead, how about suggesting that we do something that both of us enjoy or bring up something that you think would be fun for us to try. That doesn’t mean “make a list of things you like doing & ask me to do them with you”. While that’s subjective, it would be better if we both made a list of things, compiled the lists into one & decided to do things from it together. I’ll pick 5 things from your list, you pick 5 from mine & we’ll schedule it out over a period of time. Do you see how easy that is? It’s called “compromise”…you might have heard of it.
Let’s take a step backwards though & talk about initial dating & preferences. Women have a LOT of asshole “preferences”. Remember earlier when I mentioned being “really good looking, having muscles & a beard”? These seem to be the new fad of what women want. It’s not good enough to be smart, able to hold a conversation or just an all around good guy. Those, among others, are just a bonus if you fit their other criteria. Sure, you should absolutely be attracted to someone you choose to date…I won’t deny that at all, but why is it such a burden to feel someone out by getting to know them instead of having a dictionary of criteria they should meet at the fucking door before they even have a shot? I hate using social media as an example, but it’s probably the most honest display of how women think when it comes to dating, so I’ll use a couple of Tinder profiles as an example:
Exhibit A: She’s 35 & divorced. Now, I don’t know what caused her to get divorced, but chances are, her attitude played a part in it. Look at this shit. I understand not being impressed by materials or muscles, but why does a guy have to be “pimping his kids out” by using pics with them? He can’t be a loving father being upfront about having kids that are a part of his life? What the fuck does she mean by “Don’t bore me with stupid small talk”? And to top shit off, you basically have to be into the music she listens to? Asshole.
Exhibit B: I understand the necessity of taking the time to get to know someone, but her “final note” makes it obvious what type of person she is. Which brings me to question…why do women feel that men need to “handle” them? Why can’t you be an adult & if we disagree, speak sensibly & be rational? Asshole.
Exhibit C: So let me get this straight…she “won’t go running with you”, but you “must love dogs and the outdoors”. Interesting. Asshole.
Exhibit D: Nevermind the fact that we may have 4,000 different things in common…if I don’t eat meat or only like it cooked a certain way, we’re incompatible. So basically FUCK my life choices. Gotcha. Asshole.
As you may have guessed, these 4 women were very attractive — I don’t typically use rating scales, but for the sake of example, I’d say solid 8s & 9s, but their attitudes brought them down to 4s & 5s for me. Sadly, the buck doesn’t stop here. There’s a very large percentage of women with this same attitude. Of course, your preferences are your own business, but shit like this is…well, you get the point.
On the flip side, take a look at Exhibit E:
Here’s a seemingly decent woman just searching for a generally nice guy. Going through her pictures, I’d say she was a borderline 6, but her outlook made me swipe right. Ok, one more for the sake of stupidity…
Decent profile…she was fairly attractive (borderline 8), but…why the fuck would you make your Snapchat account public if you don’t want people to add you? Also, how the fuck is adding her “creepy”? Women use that term very, very loosely. A guy trying to talk to you at the bar, you decline, only to come out of the bathroom to see him standing right there = creepy. A guy standing behind you & sniffing your hair = creepy. A guy knowing where you live because he used geo-tagging from your pictures to figure it out = creepy. Adding a fucking Snapchat account that you clearly posted on your Tinder profile = not creepy.
If you’re still with me thus far, I believe I’ve made my point. There’s so much more I could touch on, but this should be enough for you to open your eyes & see exactly what the title entails. Again, I’m aware we have our fucked up moments & whatnot, but the above noted is shit that only women are capable of. Take a look around you next time you’re in a public spot. Think of the women you know. Think of how you act/react in certain situations. These, amongst other reasons, are why I particularly don’t date often. I just personally don’t have time to deal with shit like this.
– Hype (@_maliante)